Managing self-expectation when setting boundaries
Managing expectations about boundary setting …
To be honest, my routine might not be what you expect.
Reflecting about my morning and evening routines, I realise things often awry from the way I planned and I end up sleeping late.
Yes, I promote and am an advocate for setting strict, firm and healthy boundaries (if you’ve not yet read the blog, click here).
However… there are occasions when boundaries have to be compromised.
You see it is easy to set firm boundaries when you’re off working hours, and physically out of office – by switching off your work phone or choosing not to sign into your email.
Yet if you’re not living by yourself or with your partner who works the regular 9-5, it might be challenging to balance work-life responsibilities.
Imagine …
waking up attending to your child’s or elderly parent’s needs, making sure you’ve got their breakfast ready
reminding yourself of the emails you have to send by the end of the day
remembering to buy the tickets for the upcoming vacation
having to clean the dishes left over from last night
wanting to send that message to a friend you’ve yet to check in on for months
the list goes on…
Throughout the day, you WORK your to-do lists, attending to your family members while managing work either in the office or virtually from home, when it’s time to rest, it’s already 11pm.
Can we take a moment to acknowledge that even amongst the business, even if we hadn’t managed to do anything we want for ourselves, that we have shown up today? That even if there’s a myriad of things to be accomplished, we did our best and we aren’t really that much of a ‘failure’ that the critic in our head calls us?
image: managing expectations around setting healthy boundaries at the workplace and at home - what happens if we are too strict on boundaries, what happens if we fail to set boundaries
Today’s blog is a little different from our usual blog, but nevertheless is a call out to you to recognise that you’re not alone, many others out there live like you.
You might have a dream to:
quit that 9-5
be free from the family duties you have committed to
rest
read
have some quiet time to just sit with your tea/ coffee
sit back and watch a good movie
just … relax
and that is totally ok. You are allowed to do just that.
Know that it is possible for you to do all of the above, with better time management with better self-talk, with better management of expectations and with flexible boundaries.
You can set a boundary and bend it if your:
family is ill and needs your help
friend is on the verge of a breakdown
child has been bullied and really needs someone by their side
You can also be firm when to say no if someone is overly dependent on you and they need to learn to do, experience, try things themselves.
Firm boundaries are essential, but for them to be long-lasting and helpful to you (not the harsh commando kind), it’s ok to bend your boundaries once in a while so long as you communicate your needs and expectations clearly to others. For them to know that you’re bending the boundaries because you needed a break, because you want to show up for them, that they matter NOT because they persuade you away from yourself, from your goals.
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Similar reads:
✨ https://emergedbutterfly.com/blog/setting-healthy-boundaries
✨ https://emergedbutterfly.com/blog/habits-of-highly-successful-people
✨ https://emergedbutterfly.com/blog/adaptability
✨ https://emergedbutterfly.com/blog/differentviewsinrelationship
✨ https://emergedbutterfly.com/blog/lifeinsemesters
