The Automatic Process that makes us Miserable - and How to Break the Cycle

Sitting in front of the laptop, cursor blinking on the screen. On the outside she looked like she was thinking. Yet nobody knows about the myriad thoughts running through her mind. 

All the what ifs, all the (not yet) burned bridges, all the worst case scenarios playing on repeat in her mind. 

Looking back from 10 years time, she would probably laugh at her younger self for making a big fuss out of nothing. However, her body is in stress mode in the present moment. 


Have you ever found yourself feeling so in tuned with yourself, ready for the next opportunity and blessing to come your way only to find yourself either 1. Freezing 2. Wanting to run away/ avoiding a situation when the opportunity actually comes your way?

We can meditate all we want, repeat the affirmations and act like we have it all together but fall trap to the gnarly hindrance everyone faces: self sabotage

Self-sabotage looks like…

  • Rejecting a job opportunity because it sounds too good to be true

  • Telling yourself that you’re not yet-quite-ready for the long-awaited collaboration that is already knocking at your door

  • Finding your match on a dating app but choosing not to be proactive in replying to the messages in case you face rejection

We self-sabotage because new opportunities that are the right fit for us feels unfamiliar. 

Our brain favours what is familiar and usually moves us away from what is unfamiliar. According to evolution, this is helpful because we wouldn’t consume a weird looking berry if we have not tried it before as it might cost us our lives. Yet in modern times, this function of our mind actually hinders us from achieving our goals. 

Overcoming self-sabotage:

1. Mindhack 

When you hear the inner protector shouting “unfamiliar!” and trying to pull you away from a logically golden opportunity, visualise BOTH positive and negative consequences. Often than not we give power to all the negative events that might happen but deprive ourselves of the chance to indulge in the possibilities of positive experiences. This tells our mind that we are afraid, not ready and not worthy which leads us to reject that golden opportunity a.k.a sabotage ourselves and feeling regret later when what we might need in the moment is just some time to think before making a decision.  

2. Change your behaviours

Instead of following the same routine day in and day out, switch things out from time to time. Get accustomed to trying new things and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. With practice you’ll get better at adapting to changes in life and even become a magnet to attracting positive experiences in your life i.e. manifesting your deepest desires. But first! You need to be ok with trying out things that makes you uncomfortable at first. (now instead of pushing new opportunities away, you’ll be the first to say yes and dive head first into it while others panic and ask for outsiders’ opinions!)

3. Get yourself out of the picture 

Instead of analysing the situation from a first person point of view, look at the situation from a third person perspective. What advice would you give someone in the situation you’re in? Would you encourage them to step into the unknown or would you advise them against taking the next step forward? Sometimes removing ourselves from the picture provides a lot more clarity as we become more objective. 

Affirmation to help you win against self-sabotage:
I am worthy and ready to receive. 

Do you struggle from self-sabotage too? When does self-sabotage show up in your life and how do you cope with it? Share your coping strategies in the comments section below and you might just help another person out! 

If you’d like to dive deeper into seeking professional help for your mental wellness, you can send in your application for a 1:1 Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) session. RTT can help you understand and overcome unhelpful, critical thought patterns that contribute to overall stress and which blocks you from receiving the blessings you deserve. 

By communicating directly with your subconscious mind, you can discover what’s truly hindering you from achieving your dreams and empower you to choose different thoughts and actions. By changing your focus and thoughts you can change the outcomes in your life.

I've assisted many people, like you, in making significant life changes in order to feel whole, complete and satisfied with the person you’re becoming. Get in touch with me here if you're ready to make changes in your life, truly feel worthy and get EVERYTHING you need to live the life you desire (because it IS available to you) ➡️ https://emergedbutterfly.com/application

Since you’re here, be sure to subscribe to our email list and be part of the EB Tribe. You’ll get instant access to a powerful training guide that I created to help you release the critical, judgmental thoughts in your mind 📩. You’ll also get exclusive content, some special love notes, and personal updates from me that I simply don't share anywhere else 🤫

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