Knowing these will save your relationship
Have you ever found yourself on the verge of lashing out at your partner for doing and saying almost the same thing time after time even as you’ve talked through a particular situation before?
From money matters to miscommunication to the different parenting style and different values and beliefs about who should do which household chores - it is common for couples to bicker or find disputes with each other.
Knowing the MAJOR differences between how you and your partner are wired can help resolve most of these disagreements tremendously.
Disclaimer: while this blog addresses relationships involving a man and a woman, it applies across all types of relationships. The terms “man” and “woman” used in this blog can refer to the traits you are more prone to display i.e. masculine or feminine traits.
MAJOR DIFFERENCE 1
We all know that when a problem happens the first ones to call for a meeting/ discussion often are the females. I can attest to that. Before figuring things out ourselves, it reassures us knowing that we can turn to someone for help.
Men on the other hand, prefer to work things through by themselves. Can you recall the time when your male partner has a huge project to deal with and all he does is spend his time in his workroom typing away at his laptop?
It frustrates us when we don’t know and don’t accept the way our significant other is wired. Now that you are informed can you extend grace for when your partner needs a little more support or a little more time to themselves?
A note for the different genders:
For the men: It is not that your ladies are helpless, they can figure things out themselves but they would benefit greatly from your presence, support and reassurance.
For the women: it is not that your man doesn’t want to spend time with you, he is merely hyper focused on excelling in his current project.
MAJOR DIFFERENCE 2
Women enjoy being loved up and compliments lifts your men up. You might wonder how cherishing someone is different from appreciating someone…
For the men: Cherishing someone means to love a person very much, wanting to protect and care for them. This means tending to their needs whether they verbally mention it or not. That extra effort and love showered on your female family member/ friends/ significant others can earn you points!
For the women: Appreciating someone means to recognise the good qualities of a person. Being extra deliberate in acknowledging the strengths of your male family members/ friends/ significant others can go a long way in boosting his ego and your relationship. In the Asian culture I live in, giving and receiving praise is often underrated and we could do more of it. Compliments are frequently seen as either insincere or as an attempt to flatter someone, but this perception shouldn't be the case.
In fact, according to behavioral psychology, the more we praise, reward, or compliment someone for a particular behavior, the more likely they are to repeat that behavior.
MAJOR DIFFERENCE 3
For women, every act of love counts as one point, regardless of whether it's spending a lot of money on a bouquet of 99 roses or simply helping with the dishes. Unlike men, who often value big gestures more, women appreciate and cherish the small, everyday efforts that show you care. This goes to show that to earn affection and build a stronger relationship with the females in your family, be attentive to their needs and help with the little tasks. With men, you’ll need to focus on giving them what they want.
In case you didn’t know: giving men what you think they need and not what they think they want can actually backfire! (more on this in another blog, so stay tuned)
**The above learning points are learnt from reading books on relationships and from directly working with my clients.
It blows my mind how amazing my clients are at teaching me more about relationships the more I work with them. If you too are seeking a therapist to help you unravel the mystery as to why a certain behaviour from your partner ticks you off, seeking professional help may just be the solution to a peaceful and loving relationship. For a deeper dive, check out and send in your application so we can work together in a 1:1 Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) session. RTT can help you understand and overcome unhelpful, critical thought patterns that contribute to overall stress which strains a relationship.
By communicating directly with your subconscious mind, you can discover what’s truly affecting your relationship and empower yourself to choose different thoughts and actions therein change your outcome for the better!
I've assisted many people, like you, in making significant life changes in order to feel whole, complete and satisfied with the person you’re becoming. Get in touch with me here if you're ready to make changes in your life and get EVERYTHING you need to live the life you desire (because it IS available to you) ➡️ https://emergedbutterfly.com/application
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