Ways to Practice Self-Love
We seek love from outside of ourselves because that is how we found stability and love as children. The truth is that the love you seek can only come from within.
“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth - there’s a reason they all start with ‘self’.
You can’t find them in anyone else.”
~Unknown
We practice self-love so that we can overcome our limiting beliefs and live a life that truly shines. Self-love is the answer to everything. Self-love allows you to be good to yourself and, as a result, become a better human being.
What is self-love?
Self-love is the act of placing yourself first. We are often taught in childhood to stay silent, keep our opinions to ourselves, to follow the instructions passed down from authority figures such as our caregivers. Oftentimes people think self-love is being selfish, it’s placing one person’s needs and wants above all the others. But that’s not true, self love is loving yourself enough to:
say no when someone steps over the boundary,
know when you need to take breaks from work rather than overworking,
spend time with the people who make you feel good, heard, and seen.
Benefits of practicing self-love:
Growing in compassion - when we can love ourselves enough to stand up for ourselves, we are able to extend the same amount of compassion and love to others.
Role model: giving others the permission to practice self-love, they see us being the examples and embodiment of self-love and they learn from our practices.
Reduced negative chatter in our mind - we grow to be accepting of our strengths and flaws and this allows us to be ok with who we are. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, seeking perfectionism, and pursuing societal goals which are not in alignment with ourselves, we embrace our truth and we reduce the critical thoughts of I should, I must, I need to do __fill in the blank__ in order to be successful or happy.
No longer seeking the approval of others - when we practice self-love we take back control of our sense of self-worth, and other’s opinions of us will not have power over us. When no one can make us happy with their words and actions because we feel good enough about ourselves we will not easily be manipulated or feel bad when others make judgments of us.
How to cultivate self-love?
Have some form of self-care daily - spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental check-ins.
Spiritual - connection with your ancestors, angels, God, divine, your higher self. Whatever you name it, when you are connected spiritually that means you know you have a higher purpose being alive here. And that helps with you showing up for the day, knowing that you have a place on Earth and you are wanted and needed. Your existence here matters.
Emotional - checking in with your emotions daily, from time to time. Asking yourself “How do I feel?”, “What do I need at this moment?” and giving yourself that which you need - whether it’s food, rest, entertainment, connection, or intimacy without feeling guilty. Take pleasure in having fun. It’s good to feel good.
Physical -
Have some form of exercise each day. Be it a simple 5 mins walk around the park, switching your routine from taking the escalator to going up the stairs, doing simple morning and evening stretches, trying out yoga or kickboxing, or signing up for a personal fitness coach. There are a ton of ways you can go about taking care of your body.
Nourishing yourself with healthy food. Studies have shown that when we engage in physical activities that our brain produces happy hormones, it also creates Brain Derived Neurotrophic Factors (BDNF) which helps with learning. Comfort food may seem to provide us comfort but they contain chemicals which can negatively mess up our emotional systems.
Mental check-ins - setting intentions for the day, planning how to interact and navigate through difficult conversations, finding ways to support yourself on the difficult days - a friend you can go to or podcasts you can turn to, having a gratitude journal or practice daily positive affirmations help create this pattern of looking out for what works for you in the environment than what we’ve been trained to do all this while which is to seek the bad; visualizing how you want an interaction or event to go and reviewing your day on a journal the night before going to sleep.
Self-esteem does not develop overnight. It's a never-ending process, and some days will be better than others. Self-love is about learning to create better experiences rather than trying to make every day rainbows and sunshine.
What are your favorite ways to self-pamper and self-care? Share yours in the comments section below and let’s help each other generate new ideas to self-love!
There are ways to boost your self-esteem if you're feeling down on yourself. Therapy, as well as instituting and adhering to a healthy lifestyle, such as getting regular exercise and eating a balanced and healthful diet, can be beneficial. However, some of us, particularly the bookworms among us, can benefit from reading books about self-love that reassure you that you're worth it.
The good news? I’ve got just the book for you soulful people:
Seasonal Emotions is a digital book of poetry describing the fluctuations of emotions through a depressing period to finally making the decision to seek therapy, and rise from the wounds of past emotional sufferings. Comparable to the seasons, emotions are cyclical and in constant change.
My hope is that you see the art and meaning of experiencing all emotions to their extremities and keep choosing to live on.
Get your copy here and let me know which poem resonates best with you 💖
Since you’re here, be sure to subscribe to our email list and be part of the EB Tribe. You’ll get instant access to a powerful training guide that I created to help you release the critical, judgmental thoughts in your mind 📩. You’ll also get exclusive content, some special love notes, and personal updates from me that I simply don't share anywhere else 🤫
