The solution to self-criticism
Self-criticism (the act of putting ourselves down even for the tiniest thing), we’ve all been there.
Comparing ourselves to someone with better skill sets, judging our appearances and feeling injustice that the person next to us is smarter, richer, younger, prettier, more successful, just so much more than us.
In this day and age where advancement is the trend, it is beneficial for us to equip ourselves with more knowledge and skills. Yet, it is also easy for us to fall into the mental thought of not being good enough or perfect enough to present ourselves and share our knowledge with others. While it helps the larger community that we grow and evolve, it is limiting when we self-sabotage our potential for actual change when we engage in self-criticism.
Such phrases are familiar:
If you’re not better than him/her you will lose out.
It’s a competitive world out there, the toughest one wins.
You think you’re good? Wait till you see him/her.
Being surrounded in a culture of comparison and not-enoughness, we are taught that being critical to ourselves helps us thrive and gain success. This is true, to a certain extent because it is when we grow at our own pace, appreciate our efforts and apply our knowledge to aid others and ourselves attain more joy, that the pursuits for knowledge and skills become meaningful.
Studies have shown, shopping and getting a promotion doesn’t affect us as positively as praising ourselves.
When we are able to praise ourselves, we need not depend on external sources of satisfaction. We stop being needy for the recognition and approval of others. We stop needing material objects to elevate our status. We stop turning to comfort foods to feel better about ourselves. Sounds familiar? Don’t worry, I’ve been down that path too. You’re not alone.
“Criticism withers people, praise builds them up”
Today, commit to eavesdropping your mental dialogues. Simply take note of the times you speak harshly to yourself. Instead of criticizing yourself, turn your attention to the voice that is judging you and ask yourself if you’d say the same critical words to a close friend of yours.
Then notice that you are not that voice. That judgmental being was introduced to you at a point in your life and you need not listen to it.
Acknowledge the fact that you are showing up and putting in the effort, you are doing your best. Know that some days are just bad and that is not your fault.
We criticize ourselves because we didn’t know better, and no one taught us to choose better thoughts and ways to treat ourselves. Now that you know better, you can do better.
Make praise familiar. What can you do to lift your mood?
Mel Robbins (author of the 5 Second Rule) recommends giving a hi-5 to yourself every morning before you leave the toilet.
What I love to do is setting alarms with kind words on my phone that rings about 3-4 times through the day. This keeps me in check of how I feel and can once more choose to feel in a given day.
I’d love to hear from you. Have you found yourself in situations where you are overly critical of yourself? What steps have you taken to soften that voice and be kinder to yourself? Share as much details as you can in the comments, your story might just be what another reader here needs to feel they are not alone and to start choosing better thoughts and actions.
Self-criticism is an issue that can affect so many of us, share this post with a close family, relative, friend or colleague - someone you think could use a little reminder and support to step into their higher self and live more light-heartedly.
With much appreciation,
Carina
Since you’re here, be sure to subscribe to our email list and be part of the EB Tribe. You’ll get instant access to a powerful training guide that I created to help you release the critical, judgmental thoughts in your mind 📩. You’ll also get exclusive content, some special love notes, and personal updates from me that I simply don't share anywhere else 🤫