Regulating Stress
Have you ever gone through the day feeling all good when suddenly a sight/ smell/ phrase caught your attention and you find yourself in panic mode? Well, I did. Here’s what I learned. There is nothing wrong with us. According to the Polyvagal Theory by Dr Stephen Porges, there’s a part within us known as the Vagus Nerve. The Vagus Nerve connects our brain and gut and has many branches of sensory fibers running through the rest of our body. Imagine: like the roots of the tree (our sensory fibers) spreading far and deep into the soil (our body).
When we are in a state of calm and peace, the Vagus Nerve is on “time off”, they allow us to be ourselves, to feel comfortable and relaxed. When the Vagus Nerve is stimulated, it sends signals to the mind and gets us into the fight-flight response. This is when you feel a need to run away to the toilet, to avoid that phone call or to “thrash things out and see how it goes”.
This process happens almost immediately when we are triggered by a sight/ smell or thought process that reminds us of a painful/traumatic experience. (Please note, there are big traumas and small traumas. While being bullied or criticized is not typically identified as trauma, it affects our psychological and emotional health hence can still be considered as small trauma).
Two sides of the Vagus Nerve:
When we are socially engaging with friends and family, we feel safe, we know we are comfortable with them, this allows us to relax and be receptive. In this state we are able to think critically, solve problems and regulate our emotions. We are able to access our higher human functioning part of the brain known as the prefrontal cortex. There is flexibility, and openness because we feel safe.
When we feel threatened – being called to the teacher’s room, being negatively judged, meeting an ex-friend partner or colleague, our body enters the activation mode where we feel the need to run, hide, or defend ourselves. In this mode, we don’t feel safe, there is the need to leave or end the present situation. Hence, we are stuck in the mammalian part of the brain which is emotionally driven. In this state we are not able to problem solve, we are not able to think clearly and that affects our decisions.
This is an innate adaptation passed down to us through evolution. While this adaptation had served our ancestors in the past, ensuring their safety when met with a lion in the jungle, this adaptation causes us more stress in the present day when we get stimulated almost constantly with the amount of pressure in the society today.
Here’s what you can do:
Practice awareness – constantly practice being in the present moment allows you to know that in the present moment you are safe. You are not your past or your future. There is no need to feel stress about what had happen in the past or get worried about what is to come in the future.
Breathe – in moments of stress, we often take just shallow breaths or forget to breath altogether, and this further activates the stress response. Take in deep breaths and remind yourself you’ve got this. Letting out a big sigh as you exhale releases the tension trapped within the body too.
Reframe your thoughts – our well-intended minds often jump 3 steps ahead and show us the worst possible outcome. Instead of helping us come up with a strategic plan, this actually brings us closer to taking a wrong next step. Take a moment to remind yourself that the worst is only happening within our minds, there are actually numerous other possible outcomes. Could you challenge yourself to think of a possible positive encounter?
Resilience – recognized that you’ve been through difficult times and made it out alive (or you’ll probably not be reading this). Whenever you find yourself in a tough situation recall of the time you handled a similar situation and it all worked out well. With challenge comes growth, and building your mindset to stay resilient is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself in times of stress.
How do you regulate stress and encourage more downtime in your day-to-day life? Let us know in the comments section below, we love to hear from you!
Since you’re here, be sure to subscribe to our email list and be part of the EB Tribe. You’ll get instant access to a powerful training guide that I created to help you release the critical, judgmental thoughts in your mind 📩. You’ll also get exclusive content, some special love notes, and personal updates from me that I simply don't share anywhere else 🤫
