miscommunication woes
Have you ever found yourself reacting to a situation which would have turned out differently if you had held back from responding immediately and decided to take some time out to think through before answering?
Or perhaps you are the one on the receiving end. Where after you have made a statement, another jumps to conclusions, making an assumption about the statement you’ve just made and lashes out at you before getting to know more about the situation.
Chances are if you’re living in a fast paced environment, such occurrences are common everyday happenings.
Yet, they often leave you questioning if the interaction could have gone better or if there is any way to avoid such interactions at all.
If you’re asking yourself that question, great news because the answer is YES. There is a way out of these ‘negative vibes’ conversations.
The secret: INTENTIONALITY
As you are pondering and reflecting on your past interactions that have gone awry, did you notice a common trend?
Common trend: we-need-the-answer-FAST-IMMEDIATLYE-RIGHT AWAY.
When we are constantly expected to give a response almost instantaneously, we are not given the chance to think through before we speak.
Take for example:
You’re invited to a housewarming party, you know your schedule is tight but you weren’t given the time to check your schedule before responding, so you quickly replied “I’ll be there!” A few days later when you check your schedule, you realise you’ve forgotten about an important appointment which clashes with the housewarming party. Now you’re thinking “I shouldn’t have agreed so quickly…”
A colleague asks for your opinion regarding a project, you are busy replying to emails that you did not register what s/he just said so you simply nod your head and quickly return to your emails. The next day your colleague told you that your manager was not happy with the report you have approved. You ask yourself what the report was about and realise you’ve simply brushed it off while busy working on urgent emails. Now you feel guilty for not giving it the attention it deserves.
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Viktor E. Frankl
Now instead of bashing yourself up for not being careful enough or pointing the finger at the society for always demanding an answer right away, let’s reflect. What are the possible outcomes if we choose to process information before rushing to give a response? Would all the possible outcomes be negative (like how anxiety would like us to believe)?
Perhaps slowing down, informing another that we need time to get back to them can create a ripple effect of others realising the importance of thinking through a decision, and of paying attention to the little details in life. We are the society, and we get to dictate our experience as a society. Perhaps deciding to slow down and be intentional about the person you want to be, the energy you want to bring into the room, the kind of response you’ll give others (rushed and careless VS deliberate and thoughtful) can help instigate reflection and change in response in another.
Your energy, your behavior is contagious. In every moment you have the ability to make another person feel calm, at ease and peaceful or you have the ability to make another feel stressed and overwhelmed.
When we decide to be intentional about the way we act around others, we realise that we have choice and we have power to respond appropriately in every situation.
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