The 3 false beliefs about Self-Esteem
What thoughts do you have about self-esteem? Many would define self-esteem as “how I think of myself”.
Here are some self-reflective questions:
What beliefs do you have of yourself (personality, hobbies, interaction with others)?
How accurate are these beliefs a representation of you (100%)?
Where did these beliefs originate from? (were they beliefs created by you or ... did they come from someone else)?
We all perceive the world differently based on our upbringing, education, society, and the media. While these beliefs were taught to us with good intentions (to be compliant, well-liked, or to be a good team player), they limit us from stepping into our true potential.
In this blog post, you’ll learn about the three false beliefs we all have about self-esteem:
1. Something out there is going to fix your self-esteem
Branded items, a particular type of diet, piercing, alcohol, substance, you name it.
Don’t look out there, look within. Inside of you lies all the answers, wisdom, and knowledge to future goals and dreams. Living to the standards of society will not make you happy. Living on your terms will improve your well-being so much more.
Since the way you see yourself is your self-esteem, you have the responsibility to perceive yourself in ways that will support you. Looking out for behaviors and belief systems that society favors does not necessarily bring you happiness.
External claims that your worth is a result of the number of branded items you have or the type of body shape you have are not accurate. You don’t need more things to make you worthy. You don’t have to rely on drugs, alcohol, or substances to feel high or good about yourself.
You are good enough just the way you are.
2. Someone else will fix your life
This someone can refer to your: partner, children, family, friends, boss/colleagues, idols. If others' opinions of you can direct your actions and thoughts, you have given your power away. If someone is able to make you happy, they have the same ability to take your happiness away.
Be responsible for your life, hold onto the power you have over yourself and you can steer clear from others who do not have the best intentions for you.
3. Your beliefs of yourself are true and unchangeable
Your belief system about yourself and the world does not belong to you.
Somebody gave you a belief, perhaps a caregiver, teacher, or a stranger. When you’re a child, the logic part of the brain has not evolved yet. It is thus appropriate and reasonable for you to see yourself and the world through the lens given to you.
We all learn what we lived, and our childhood experiences taught us beliefs about the world. Often, these beliefs do not change as we grow because the environment most of us live in does not change. While we are aware logically, as we age, that these beliefs are not true, they continue to influence us in various aspects of life.
Analogy: you bought a new phone with the best speaker, best camera lens, and the best software. As you hadn’t learned how to use the new phone, people around you share their opinion on how useless the phone is and how it’s a waste of money.
Will you learn more about the use of this new phone or will you accept the opinions of others and not explore the possibilities with your new device?
To many, it is obvious that we should do proper research and not just accept the comments of others without trying the phone ourselves. Likewise, we ought to do the same for ourselves - purge old, limiting beliefs about ourselves and recognize what a gift we are, and explore our limitless potential.
Understand that a person or a thing is NOT going to fix you. Know that your beliefs about yourself are not permanent, and they do not embody the full potential of you. You are more than the perceptions others have of you.
You don’t have to play the role others set for you. You have the power to take charge of your life. The person you have to be better than is not your co-worker, not your friend, not anyone else but who you were yesterday. You don’t have to accept the beliefs people place on you, for you are so much more.
What thoughts about yourself can you challenge today? Which areas of your life are you comparing yourself to others? Who are you relying on for recognition? Which beliefs can you free yourself from?
Share your insights with our community in the comments below. We are all here to support and help each other grow into better versions of ourselves :)
Blessings to you,
Carina
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