Don't Be a Victim: Spot & Stop Gaslighting Pt 1
Have you ever found yourself questioning your own reality, doubting your memory, or feeling like you're going crazy in a relationship? If so, you might have been a victim of gaslighting without even realizing it.
The term gaslighting might sound like it's straight out of a psychological thriller, but the truth is, it's a very real and insidious form of emotional manipulation that can happen to anyone. I've seen this happen more times than I'd like to admit.
But here's the thing - when you get how gaslighting works, you can do a better job of looking after yourself, feeling good about who you are, and standing up against people who try to control you.
What are the signs of gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a sneaky way people try to control you by making you doubt yourself. It can mess up how you feel about yourself and your sense of reality. When you're in a relationship, especially with a partner, you should watch out for the red flags that signal this insidious behavior.
Undermining your reality: Gaslighters sow seeds of self-doubt by systematically invalidating your reality. They label you as paranoid or jealous, causing you to question your own instincts and perceptions.
Erasing your version of reality: Accusing you of fabricating events when you're speaking the truth is a classic gaslighting tactic. It's as if they're trying to erase your version of reality, leaving you feeling unheard and disbelieved.
Invalidates your feelings: Gaslighters make you question the validity of your feelings by branding you as overly sensitive or emotional. This manipulation leaves you doubting your emotional responses and inhibits healthy expression.
Isolates you and makes you dependent on them: Accusations of paranoia and imagining things can isolate you from friends and family, further destabilizing your sense of reality. It's a cunning way to keep you dependent on the gaslighter.
Attacks what matters to you: To gain control, gaslighters emotionally attack what matters most to you. This can include loved ones, values, or possessions, leaving you feeling vulnerable and powerless.
Their actions contradict their words: Gaslighters often talk the talk but fail to walk the walk. Their actions contradict their words, creating a confusing atmosphere of inconsistency and mistrust.
Accusing you of their own actions: They may accuse you of things they are actually doing, such as cheating or lying, deflecting blame and responsibility onto you.
Spreading false information about you: Gaslighters use others against you by spreading false information, further eroding your credibility and support system.
Makes you doubt even your trusted individuals: Gaslighters are so convincing that they make you doubt even the people you trust, believing that they are lying to you.
Makes you apologize excessively: The web of lies and manipulation can become so extensive that you end up apologizing frequently, even when you've done nothing wrong, just to keep the peace.
Gaslighting victims often go through:
Gaslighting can inflict deep emotional wounds on its victims. It's like trying to find your way through a never-ending storm of self-doubt and insecurity. When you're on the receiving end of gaslighting you might:
You question your own emotions and experiences. Your feelings and what's real can get mixed up, making you wonder if the bad stuff happening to you is as bad as it seems.
Making you feel like you're walking on eggshells. This toxic manipulation corrodes judgment and perception, leaving you voiceless out of fear that speaking up will worsen the situation. Vulnerability becomes your constant companion, as you navigate each day like walking on eggshells.
You feel alone. You might start feeling alone, thinking that everyone sees you as strange or unstable because of what the gaslighter says. You might even start to believe their hurtful words and repeat them to yourself.
You're gradually losing self-confidence. Slowly, you lose confidence in yourself. You feel like you're not good enough because you're trying too hard to meet impossible standards. Doubting yourself becomes a regular thing as your memory and judgment become less reliable.
You find yourself saying sorry all the time, thinking that others are always let down by you, and this makes you feel like you're worth less. Making decisions gets harder because you don't trust your own judgment.
You might feel confused, not sure what's real, and even wonder if you're going crazy. This tricky behavior can chip away at your confidence and mental strength, sometimes making you rely on the person causing it.
You might start thinking it's your fault or that you're just too sensitive. Anxiety, sadness, addiction, and even thoughts of hurting yourself can affect those who've been through gaslighting. This shows how important it is to spot and fight this harmful kind of abuse.
Did you benefit from this blog? If so, kKeep your eyes peeled for our next blog which will be a continuation on the topic of gaslighting. You’ll read what actually motivates one to gaslight another and the practical strategies when dealing with someone who gaslights. Not in our email list? Join the tribe here to get first hand updates!
Know of someone who’s struggling with gaslighting behavior? Share this post with them.
