What My Infested Flower Box Taught Me About Emotional Wellbeing
Last week, I opened my chest of dried flowers and was taken aback to see small dots moving around the box. Bugs! 🤢 They had been attracted to flowers that weren't fully dried. Telling myself I didn't have time to deal with them, I shut the lid tight and went on with my day, pretending that hadn't just happened.
A week went by, and I reassured myself that the box was sealed tight, so surely these bugs would have died by now. All I would need to do was sieve out their remains and move on.
But when I finally opened the box again, not only were they still there—they had multiplied! 😵💫 Disgusted, I quickly separated the petals I could salvage, discarded the rest, and cleaned the box thoroughly.
That's when it hit me—this is exactly what we do with our difficult thoughts and emotions. We push them to the back of our minds to "deal with later." 🫠
The Multiplying Effect of Suppressed Emotions
Just like those bugs in my flower box, our unaddressed emotions don't simply disappear when ignored—they grow stronger and more numerous:
What starts as a slight irritation becomes overwhelming frustration.
A small sadness transforms into pervasive melancholy.
A momentary fear evolves into chronic anxiety.
And just as I discovered that the bugs had damaged many of my precious dried flowers beyond repair 🥀, our suppressed emotions can damage parts of our lives we deeply value 💔:
Our physical health: Research has linked emotional suppression to increased stress hormones, weakened immune function, and even higher inflammation levels in the body. The mind-body connection isn't just philosophical—it's physiological.
Our mental clarity: When we're constantly using mental energy to keep emotions contained, we have less cognitive capacity for decision-making, creativity, and presence.
Our authentic connections: Those closest to us often sense the emotions we're hiding, creating an invisible barrier to genuine intimacy.
Where We Most Often Keep the Lid On
1. With the Family
Family systems often develop unspoken rules about which emotions are acceptable and which aren't. Perhaps in your family, anger was taboo but sadness was permitted. Or maybe expressing any vulnerability was seen as weakness.
As adults, we unconsciously continue following these emotional rules, even when they no longer serve us. We sit through family gatherings with a smile plastered on our face while seething inside. We accept additional responsibilities despite being overwhelmed because "that's what family does." We avoid necessary conversations about boundaries because we fear rejection or judgment.
2. In Our Intimate Relationships
With those closest to us, the stakes feel highest. We worry that expressing our true feelings might damage the relationship or reveal something unlovable about ourselves.
This looks like agreeing to your partner's plans when you're actually exhausted. It manifests as saying "it's fine" when something has deeply hurt you. It appears as constantly accommodating others' needs while neglecting your own, until resentment inevitably builds.
What Emotional Suppression Looks Like in Daily Life
Sometimes we're so accustomed to suppressing emotions that we don't even recognize when we're doing it. Here are some common signs:
Common Objections to Feeling Our Emotions
When I suggest to clients that they might benefit from allowing themselves to feel their emotions more fully, I often hear:
⏱️ "I don't have time for this." The reality is that suppressing emotions isn't time-efficient either—it drains your energy and eventually demands attention through physical symptoms or emotional outbursts.
👜 "It's unprofessional to show emotions." There's a difference between expressing emotions appropriately and allowing yourself to feel them. You can acknowledge your feelings privately without having to display them in all contexts.
☁️ "If I start feeling this, I might never stop." This fear is common but rarely proves true. Emotions, when allowed to flow, tend to pass through us rather than consume us permanently.
💪 "I need to be strong for others." True strength isn't about emotional suppression—it's about emotional awareness. You can only offer authentic support to others when you're honest with yourself.
Recognizing the Warning Signs Before Explosion
Just as I might have noticed subtle signs of insect activity before the full infestation in my flower box, there are early indicators that emotions need attention:
🚨Irritability over small inconveniences
🚨Difficulty concentrating or being present
🚨Changes in sleep patterns
🚨Increased criticism of yourself or others
🚨Physical tension, especially in the jaw, shoulders, or stomach
🚨Avoidance behaviors (excessive scrolling, eating, working, etc.)
🚨Feeling disconnected or numb in situations that should evoke emotion
When you notice these signs, it's an invitation to check in with yourself before the pressure builds too high.
The Unexpected Benefits of Emotional Awareness
Beyond preventing emotional explosions, there's another compelling reason to develop greater emotional awareness: it enhances your decision-making and relationships in ways you might not expect.
When we're in touch with our authentic feelings, we make choices that align with our true values rather than our conditioned responses. This leads to a life that feels more meaningful and purposeful. Our relationships become more genuine as we bring our whole selves to our interactions, allowing others the space to do the same. 😌
Moving Forward: From Suppression to Expression
Just as I needed to thoroughly clean my flower box to preserve what remained valuable, we need intentional practices to clear emotional buildup and maintain our well-being.
The next time you notice a feeling arising—whether it's frustration, sadness, or even joy—try pausing for just a moment. Rather than immediately sealing it away, approach it with gentle curiosity: "What might this feeling be trying to tell me?" Your emotions are messengers, not intruders. And sometimes, their messages are precisely what you need to hear.
✍️🎁Here’s a free guide on Journaling I’ve created specifically to help you connect with and process your emotions in a healthy way on a daily basis.
If you're finding that years of emotional suppression have created patterns that feel too entrenched to address on your own, my one-on-one Rapid Transformational Therapy sessions offer a powerful approach to releasing emotional blocks and creating new, healthier responses.
Remember, addressing your emotions isn't just about preventing breakdowns—it often unlocks deeper wisdom and intuition we wouldn't otherwise access. ❤️
Just as clearing out my flower box revealed which petals were still vibrant and worth preserving, allowing ourselves to feel fully can illuminate which relationships, projects, and paths truly matter to us.
What emotions might you be keeping under a tight lid today?
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